Structure is something that I love but struggle with because I love freedom.
I love the idea of blogging and I love the idea of working it into my schedule but as you can see from the date of my last post, I am not what anyone would call 'consistent' at blogging regularly.
I had all intention of doing a daily blog after each of my shows this fall, and I didn't do one.
Where does that leave me? I have the choice to beat myself up about it. I can choose to accept my imperfection and just throw in the towel: not even try. Or, I can choose to try. (Trying = more than just hoping)
Now that I'm home for a season, I desire to establish a home-routine, waking up at a certain time, incorporating exercise, Bible reading, study, blogging and getting a good chunk of work done before lunch, therefore giving me the rest of the day to be free with my family. I want to do more journaling so that I'll forget less of the millions of things that happen every day that I won't remember this time next year. (Like how my boy says "aminals" instead of "animals.") Things I will fail to do consistently.
Do I have enough grace to forgive myself of my little failings and keep trying?
I don't, frankly, and I often project my lack of grace toward myself on God, assuming that His grace toward me surely has run dry. But His love is an everlasting love. His mercies are new every morning. Those of you who are not parents need to believe that we parents LOVE to forgive our kids when it is obvious they are truly sorry. It breaks our hearts to see them contrite. We forgive, love, hug, cry with and restore. How much more our Heavenly Father? He is Good. He is Love.
Is forgiving yourself important? Remember Jesus' words, "Neither do I condemn you!"